May the force of Yoda always be with you!

Dr D McLaughlin Professional lead for Mental Health reflects on the importance of a family pet, a cherished member of the family, the impact they have and what we can learn from them.

If you are reading this hoping to gain an insight from a mythical character from the big screen I am sorry to disappoint you, this learning comes from the canine type. As a child growing up I always asked for a dog, again and again I was told a dog needs space and where we live there is not enough space and hence I never had a dog growing up. 

Many years pass, now I am a father and our eldest starts the same request but she does not give up as easily. Many requests are made and many points put and even a PowerPoint is developed and skillfully delivered! After much arm twisting, emotional blackmail and many sworn promises to always love, clean and look after this dog, we set off in search of one.  The children were told firmly by my better half we will not be taking the first dog we see, we have to consider this carefully.  As soon as we saw this Blenheim Cavalier King Charles Spaniel we took him home with us, it was love at first sight.  Yoda as he was named was a real character, he barked at everything that moved or indeed did not move.  He barked at dogs, cats, the postman, birds that flew over his air space, people in wheel chairs got an extra bark.  He would grab things and run, his tail wagging happily.  In fact his tail never stopped, often his whole back end would fly back and forward.  He adored food, walks and loved football, he hated the bath! 

Unfortunately Yoda became very ill and died on the 16^th April 2021, and that broke our hearts.  He had been with us nearly 12 years. Yoda was no longer a pet of ours he was a member of our family.  We waked him and just like a human wake we sat with him, stroked his head, held his paw.  We cried, we laughed lots and our hearts ached, as a family.  We told tales about him always waiting for you to come back from work or school.  You would be greeted with a bark, a tail wag and lots of kisses.  You could tell him anything, he was a brilliant listener and never told your secrets.  He was non-judgemental and always unconditional in his joy towards you.  He knew when you were happy, sad, angry or scared, he allowed you your feelings. He was a family member, a confidant, a friend and a great guard of us and our home.  We miss him.

So if we as mental health nurses could learn from Yoda, what would it be?  Be unconditional in our approach to people.  Be non-judgemental.  Be welcoming.  Have good boundaries. Have a sense of humour, you will need that in mental health care that is for sure.  Protect those who are vulnerable.  Enjoy your life – this is not a dress rehearsal. Be aware of the full family supporting people. When people grieve let them cry and wail, it is much better out than in.  Be like Yoda!

Yoda, you brought so much to our lives, thank you, we love you and miss you,

The McLaughlin’s.