In March 2020, nursing and midwifery students found their studies interrupted as a result of the Covid pandemic. They were given a choice to opt in to finishing their programme in clinical practice with online classes as required, or to pause their studies. This week Hannah Angus, Eimir Martin, Jenna Doherty and Tina Adams, who decided to pause their studies, reflect on that decision and discuss how the QUB Connections initiative worked to support them.

When the news broke that we were going into lockdown in March due to the Covid 19 pandemic, we all had only five months left of our training to become nurses and midwives. Because of this, the remainder of our nursing and midwifery training would be concluded in clinical practice and whatever classes we had left would be online. There was an “opt in” or “opt out” choice to this arrangement but to some of us there didn’t feel like there really was a choice at all as the option to opt in was not viable due to personal or family commitments or health conditions that would inhibit some of us from going into the clinical area which was deemed too unsafe. 

So whilst there was Zoom call after Zoom call with our lecturers understandably sorting the arrangements of what opting in meant – our classmates entering the unknown and clinical areas during a pandemic, whilst being a part of the meetings we couldn’t help but feeling isolated as the things talked about were nothing to do with us as we couldn’t and wouldn’t be entering the clinical area and didn’t know when we would be either. The whole unknown and uncertainty was extremely hard and unsettling as we couldn’t help but going down the rabbit hole of thinking, when will be we able to re-join practice? Will it be safe? Will we re-join in time to finish the course and graduate with our peers? Will we finish in time to take up the posts we had already interviewed for and been offered jobs for? Although we were at home surrounded by family and connecting to friends and classmates through video calls and texts etc we felt alone. 

As the weeks passed it seemed our classmates were moving on without us and we were stuck at home, alone and feeling worthless as our personal circumstances were stopping us from entering and helping the workforce and society during a global pandemic. After all , one of the reasons why we want to be nurses and midwives is to help people but yet here in a global pandemic when help was needed we had to face the reality – we couldn’t enter the front line to do what we were made to do and it was heart breaking. As the weeks went past there was nothing but a sense of loneliness. We were made aware that when we were spoke to individually that there were other students who were also in the same situation but not knowing who these students were made things that bit harder as that feeling of being alone was still there and we couldn’t support each other because we didn’t know who also had to pause.

A few weeks into being paused on our programme we were invited to join a QUB Connections group for students who were paused on their programme during the pandemic. Whilst initially everyone was nervous it very quickly became a place where everyone could speak honestly, openly and felt safe to share how they were feeling. It really helped to see we weren’t alone, and everyone was feeling the same – alone, isolated, worried, guilty, anxious feeling a sense of loss, feeling left behind and having no control over our current situations. Clare, Deirdre and Monica were fantastic, listened to us, offered support, advice and encouragement and by being there showed they really cared, wanting to help us in whatever way they could. We felt we were no longer alone and there were others out there who cared and knew and understood exactly how we were feeling.

We learnt coping mechanisms from each other and encouraged each other on by setting positive targets/goals to achieve between each meeting. We shared positive stories, sad stories and best of all through our connectedness we had a laugh and felt a sense of camaraderie with each other. The saying goes everything in life happens for a reason and during the worst times in our lives we meet some of the best people, well It is only because of the Covid pandemic did we all have the opportunity to come together, got to know each other and made friends along the way. 

We are extremely thankful to have had the group as it really helped us through the emotional rollercoaster of being paused on our programme during Covid 19 but like riding a rollercoaster it was less scary and unsettling when we had others there supporting us through the bumps and twists and turns. The sense of loneliness, fear, isolation and guilt was all replaced by happiness, togetherness, and a sense of being a part of a team who were full of support and encouragement. 

We were all able to help each other in special ways that no one else would ever understand as they were not in our situation. They were not at home, they were on the frontline fighting for our NHS whilst we were fighting our own battles to better ourselves and support each other’s mental, physical and emotional health. This has then enabled us to become stronger student nurses and midwives that will eventually enter the frontline, finish our courses and do what we love to support the community that we live in. All of this could not have been achieved without the connection group bringing us closer together to fight one battle instead of our own battles alone.

Hannah Angus is student adult nurse, Eimir Martin, Jenna Doherty, Tina Adams are all student midwives. All four are currently finishing their final placements.