Dazed and Confused

The very first task I had to do for my placement turned out to be the most stressful. I learned a lot from this experience, both about editing in general and also the company; Lamb Films, which I was to do my placement with. Much of what I learned was a result of the stress of the situation, so while it was unpleasant at the time, I learned a lot that would otherwise have been more taxing to not know when completing my following placement work. I will use Gibbs’ (1988, p.49) Reflective Cycle to deconstruct my learning as it will allow me to separate the way that I was feeling, which could be overpowering, from the facts of the situation. From examining both, I can understand why the experience was so challenging. Since this experience happened right at the start of my placement, I will reflect on how I have since made changes to the way I work, rather than outline an action plan for the future.

Description:

The task in question seemed simple enough when I was set it. I was to sync up audio from various sources onto different tracks so that the editor could select the best source for each line. I was given written instructions and was ready to get it done in plenty of time (the deadline was in a week) when I began hitting roadblocks. I put off emailing for help as I was concerned that I was being stupid. This meant that when I did get help, I didn’t have much time to do what I needed to do. As it turned out, I was largely not being stupid. In other cases, I had believed that I knew what needed doing but had asked for reassurance rather than trusting my gut. Ultimately, I had to pull an all-nighter, working for 20 hours straight to complete the task. I managed to complete it in time and to an acceptable standard.

Feelings:

It would be easy for my feelings during this experience to overwhelm the facts. I was incredibly stressed. I worried that should I fail at this task, I would be kicked off my placement and never work again. Retrospectively, this was unlikely, but I honestly let myself get this worked up about it. I worried that if I did it wrong or did a bad job, someone else would have to re-do it. In an industry where everyone works so flat-out and is underpaid, I didn’t want to be even more of a burden. I let my worries paralyze me into inaction. Once the task was complete, I realised exactly how miserable it had made me.

Evaluation:

There were some positives to the experience. Ultimately, I did what needed doing and completed the syncing well enough that it helped the editor and did not need redoing by someone else. I also learned a number of keyboard shortcuts that I have since used on other projects, improving my workflow and the amount of creative testing I can have with my editing, without wasting too much time. I also learned about the particular communication style of those I was to be working with. Dasgupta (2012) discusses the impacts of varying managerial communication styles. I learned that the preferred method of communication within my company was colloquial and frequent. This has since helped me to be more confident when completing other tasks for my placement. Pullin (2011) also discusses how communication in the workplace, specifically humour, relates to politeness, power, and responsibility.

This experience was, however, negative in a number of ways. The stress that I felt while I was working on the syncing made me worried that the entire placement would be so stressful. Being fearful of my placement rather than excited for it definitely impacted my work ethic for a while afterwards.

Analysis:

A lot of my uncertainty came from the fact that I had only briefly spoken to my placement provider who set the task. I had also only received written instructions on how to do it, so I lacked information that would have been conveyed by tone, and also lacked the opportunity for minor follow-up questions. While most of what I didn’t know, I could’ve safely assumed, I doubted my common sense and delayed asking questions until it was almost too late. For example, when I couldn’t open the file, I put off emailing for help for a few days, thinking I must have just been being stupid. When I ultimately did email, it turned out I had been sent the wrong file.

Conclusion:

This experience taught me two main things that seem counter intuitive. However, learning them through a difficult experience and through practice has meant that I have a deeper understanding of when I should lean on each. The first is that I should not be afraid of asking for help. Filmmaking is a collaborative process and I had never done this particular task before. By asking for help I would have been more confident in completing the task with my mind fully committed to it, rather than half committed and half doubting. The second main learning was to trust my gut more. I have plenty of editing experience and would have been able to solve a lot of the problems I ran into myself had I trusted that I knew what I was doing.

Action plan:

Since this experience, I have trusted my gut more, but also not been afraid to ask for help when its needed. Particularly, I have made the most out of in-person meetings with my placement provider, using these opportunities to ask specific and minor questions. This has meant that I can have the reassurance I need to fully commit to a project without requiring my placement provider to engage in emails back-and-forth. Although this experience was unpleasant, it taught me a lot that I needed to know and has ensured that my placement work since has been productive and rewarding.

Bibliography:

Dasgupta, S.A., Suar, D. and Singh, S. (2012) “Impact of managerial communication styles on employees’ attitudes and behaviours,” Employee Relations, 35(2), pp. 173–199. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1108/01425451311287862.

Gibbs, G. (1988). Learning by Doing, a Guide to Teaching and Learning Methods.
[online] Oxford Brookes University. Oxford Brookes University. Available at:
https://thoughtsmostlyaboutlearning.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/learning-by-doinggraham-gibbs.pdf.

Pullin, P. (2011) “Humour and the integration of new staff in the Workplace,” The Pragmatics of Humour across Discourse Domains, pp. 265–288. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1075/pbns.210.17pul.