Playing It Safe

When I picked my placement with Kabosh I was taken by their ethos to “produce provocative theatre that transforms our understanding of who and where we are, through giving voice to site, space and people” (Kabosh,2022). Shadowing artistic director Paula McFetridge is such an amazing opportunity to learn from someone in the industry I look up to, so I felt it was appropriate to use the comprehensive Gibbs model to assess how my first day in the rehearsal room went.

I felt Gibbs’ model was most useful as someone who has been working freelance in theatre for a few years, I wanted to use the “education context, as opposed to a practice basis”, to focus on what I am getting the opportunity to learn rather than focus more on the practicalities of what occurred (Jasper, 2013, 85).

Kabosh’s rehearsal space, the Barracks, is located within a building owned by the communist party, which felt ironically fitting considering Paula and I were working on Conor Cupples’ one person show ‘He’s Perfect’. A show about a queer young man who, due to toxic masculinity within his community, is radicalised by alt-right views. I started out prompting Conor as he grasped the sections we were working on. This allowed Paula to focus on the action on stage and form her directorial opinion. Paula involved me in her process by inviting me to speak out as “all ideas are good ideas”. Conor’s character, Dion, was struggling with his disappointment that Ancient Greek standards for queer men were much the same as the present day. Having already discussed Ernst Rhome’s radical idea of ‘Manly Eros’, I suggested his character was irritated by the Greek’s failure to provide a better solution to his dilemma, reinvigorating his belief in Rhome’s ideals and thus making him complicit in Nazism. I continued to make a few suggestions throughout the process and was encouraged by Paula to add input throughout, which Conor found useful as I was able to clarify how her artistic vision would appeal to a younger queer audience.

When the day began, I was feeling shy and uncertain, but Paula’s reassurance of her interest in my contribution allowed me to relax more into my role. I felt able to voice opinions and was comforted by Conor’s positive and often excited reaction to my comments which he felt suited his artistic vision as writer/performer. I was impressed and intrigued by Paula’s detailed understanding of the character’s psyche. I found being in the room inspirational and was reminded of why I choose to go to Kabosh: Paula’s directorial vision and expertise. I felt intellectually stimulated by the piece and the conversations we had about it.

This was my favourite day in placement so far. It was so interesting to see such an intimate rehearsal process and I think I learnt a lot about working through how a character should present arguments on stage, particularly when they are controversial and therefore need to be carefully managed so an audience believes them. However, I do feel I could have artistically contributed more, and made more risky and interesting suggestions. At times I felt I was playing it safe.

As someone who hopes to work as a director in the future, learning from Paula was so valuable for me. I feel I was beneficial in accelerating the rehearsal process due to the very short time frame, and feel my creative contribution was valued. I was pleased to see Conor taking direction so well from both Paula and I, which validated my belief in my budding directorial skills. I feel for my first session in the rehearsal room it was largely positive, but I would say I think I could have contributed more. As Reinelt highlights “Some companies (and writers) ascribe [the lack of women playwrights] to a lack of confidence among women writers”, upon reading this I felt this applied to all women in the sector (2010, 555). Going forwards, I could do with more confidence in what I have to offer the rehearsal process, and I could conduct research in advance and come prepared, feeling justified in my suggestions. By the end of the day, I was delighted with my input and assisting skills, alongside my interpersonal and networking skills as I hope to work with Conor in the future.

In conclusion, I feel I could have contributed more from a directorial perspective but feel as an assistant and young professional I did well attempting to network and find my place in Paula’s process. I feel I will be able to grow in confidence form this point onwards and have a better idea of how much preparation should go into a piece before you even begin the rehearsal process.

The next time I enter the rehearsal room I intend to do so with more confidence. I hope to discuss with Paula how she felt about my contribution and use this as a guideline so we both get the most out of my work placement. I hope this, alongside conducting research in advance, will allow me to feel more confident when speaking out or creating ideas. I feel this was an excellent groundwork experience for my presence in the professional rehearsal room and I am excited to apply this knowledge and these changes in the future. Overall, I am very content with how my time at Kabosh is going and look forward to the forthcoming opportunities.

Through writing this blog post, I have found Gibbs’ model incredibly useful in seeing more into my own reactions both at the time of the rehearsal and my ability to look back on it. Although on the surface I initially felt it went very well, it was interesting to see that, after further introspection, there were elements I was unsatisfied with and feel I could improve.

Bibliography

Jasper, Melanie. (2013). Beginning Reflective Practice. 2nd Ed. Boston: Cengage Learning.

Kabosh. (2022). Kabosh Theatre Company: Home.  https://kabosh.net/ [Accessed: 17/11/22]

Reinelt, Janelle. (2010) ‘Creative Ambivalence and Precarious Futures: Women in British Theatre’. Theatre Journal. vol. 62.4. pp. 553–56.