When all the work is done, it can seem like waiting for results is equally difficult as the work itself. There may be many feelings at play- anticipation, excitement or dread. You may feel like you worked as hard as you could, or there could be elements of regret. It is a prime opportunity for negative automatic thoughts to rear their ugly heads. Thoughts such as ‘what if’ and ‘I should have’ can draw attention away from other areas of your life.
This blog focuses on when there is disappointment with results. Disappointment can be due to not meeting your expectations or the requirements of your course. Feelings associated with this can involve disappointment, anger, dread or sadness.
Here are some points to reflect on:
- Challenge your perspective. If you have passed your exams, but are unhappy with what you achieved, consider whether your expectations were realistic or healthy given the circumstances.
- Give yourself time and space to move through the stages of letting go. You are letting go of expectations of what you perceive should have happened and adjusting your reality. This will involve: Denial, Anger, Bargaining and Depression before you reach Acceptance.
- Self-compassion can help as you move through the Stages of Letting Go. There may be an element of forgiveness required- of yourself or the situation.
- You have done the best you can with the resources at your disposal. If you think you could have done better, it is only because you have learnt from the experience or have more resources now.
- Consider what is in your control right now. What options are available to you? You may be looking at resits or repeats. Your school should be able to help you assess your options.
- Make a plan that considers the following: Who do you have supporting you? What are your priorities?
- Make sure your new goals are achievable and don’t rush into making any decisions.
- Speak to people you trust. Talking to family or friends can help you process your feelings, provide reassurance and offer options you may not have considered.
- Your worth as a human being is not defined by your results!
- You may wish to access support services within or outside the university. This can include careers guidance or school support. There are also many tools to help you consider your next steps.
Your results may ignite thoughts about your future or what you want to achieve long-term. Some students decide to pursue alternatives to University based on this, and do so very successfully. Some choose a different direction for their studies or decide to take some time away to focus on other priorities. There is nothing wrong with reassessing your options and goals. It is important to get all the information so you can make an informed choice. This may involve speaking to your school, Student Finance or Careers Service. If your thoughts keep getting caught up in future worries and ‘what ifs’, bring them back to the present so you can choose the next steps within your control. Even if you feel that you are going NOWHERE, you can break that word into NOW and HERE. That is all any of us have. Each action you take will present a new set of choices in the here and now.
Support Options and Resources
To access Wellbeing Service support- https://www.qub.ac.uk/directorates/sgc/wellbeing/raw/
For counselling services: Inspire Counselling Service- Counselling | Student Centre | Queen’s University Belfast (qub.ac.uk)
For Inspire Self Help Tools: Self Help: Support Hub | Student Centre | Queen’s University Belfast (qub.ac.uk) Self Help: Support Hub | Student Centre | Queen’s University Belfast (inspiresupporthub.org)
My Future Online Careers portal including booking one-to-one Careers support: How to Use MyFuture | Student Centre | Queen’s University Belfast (qub.ac.uk)
For advice on Appeals or Complaints- Advice SU: SU Advice | QSU (q-su.org)
Bend Don’t Break resilience self-help tool: Ed Sipler – Bend Don_t Break.pdf (hscni.net)
Stress Control NI- HSCNI Stress Control online classes/webinars Home – Stress Control
Learn more about practicing Self-Compassion: Self-Compassion | Action for Happiness