When I tell people of my dream vocation, a secondary school teacher, they often scoff the stereotypical George Bernard Shaw quote, “Those who can, do: those who can’t, teach”[1]. I wish Shaw, and all those who scoff at my career aspirations had stood beside me in my fifth week of placement in St. Malachy’s College, Belfast. As I directed and choreographed a group of fourteen-year-old boys in the dance number of “Fat Sam’s Grand Slam” in the school musical, Bugsy Malone. To reflect on this experience, I will be utilising Graham Gibbs’ six-part structure model[2]. This model will allow me to systematically reflect and evaluate my time and experiences, as a Drama teaching assistant in the College, so far. This cyclical model is shown in Figure 1.
[1] Shaw, Bernard. Man and Superman: A Comedy and a Philosophy. (London: Longmans, Green in association with Constable and Co, 1956), print, p.36.
[2] The University of Edinburgh, ‘Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle’ <https://www.ed.ac.uk/reflection/reflectors-toolkit/reflecting-on-experience/gibbs-reflective-cycle> [accessed November 13].
Ms Hughes, the head teacher of the Drama department, informed me of the mid-term school musical of Bugsy Malone and suggested that I could help her with this, and act as an extra pair of hands. In the fifth week of my placement, opening night was looming upon us, and there was a large dance number that Ms Hughes had still not choreographed, which she was extremely stressed about. Since I have a background in dance choreography, having been part of the dance team in secondary school and being involved in several musicals myself, I approached Ms Hughes and asked if there was any way I could support her. She was elated when I spoke up from the shadows of the assembly hall to say this. Without any time to retract my statement, I was hurried into the drama theatre to choreograph a dance number for “Fat Sam’s Grand Slam”.
When I began to devise the routine the boys became restless and talked over the top of me. I found myself having to stop and start the music several times to draw their attention back to me. Eventually, I retained their attention and began devising the routine. The boys were extremely enthusiastic in their involvement with the creative process, thus making my job as a choreographer very easy. After our rehearsal, we performed the dance number to Miss Hughes which she was very pleased with, and my choreography made it into the final production of the show!
At the start of my placement, I felt a bit disconnected and anxious because I did not have the confidence to share my ideas or take charge of the show. It made me feel like I was just observing from the sidelines instead of actively participating. This hesitation to speak up about my dance background and my ability to choreograph held me back. However, upon telling Ms Hughes about my relevant experience in dance I felt more at ease, as she reminded me that I was there as an extra pair of hands to facilitate, as well as shadow her. This gave me a sense of purpose and confidence to devise the dance number myself.
Additionally, I felt hesitant about directing the group because I did not feel that I had enough authority and respect to be able to direct them effectively, or for them to listen to my instructions. I addressed this feeling of self-doubt by levelling myself with the students and choreographing on stage with them. I felt a sense of relief when I saw the boys enjoying the choreography and really getting into it.
Moreover, a feeling of gratification came over me when Miss Hughes complimented my routine and did not make any changes to it and it ended up in the final performance for Bugsy Malone. Upon reflection, I acknowledge that the preliminary feeling of estrangement and nervousness I had felt, came from my lack of experience in taking charge of a class as a teacher.
Evaluating and Analysing My Experience:
A moment during this experience which I think did not go so well, was when I was brought into the theatre with the group, and left to my own devices to choreograph their routine. The boys immediately began to converse with each other and speak over me as I tried to engage their attention. I reflect on this part of the experience with a negative lens, as it made me feel that I was inadequate in being able to manage a classroom without the help of another senior member of staff.
Contrastingly, something that went well with this experience, and that I positively reminisce on, was the enjoyment the boys and I had when I was creating the routine. Once I was able to retain their focus, the students engaged incredibly well with me. Their determination to get the dance composition right, and the routine complete, positively contributed to the experience. Which made the action of choreographing itself very smooth sailing.
Another example of something that went well during this experience was the reception I received from Ms Hughes on my choreographed routine, as she chose to showcase my routine.
“to feel confident in the classroom the neophyte must begin acting confidently.”[4]
Eison, James “Confidence in the Classroom: Ten Maxims for New Teachers”, College Teaching, 38:1, 21-25, (DOI: (1990) 10.1080/87567555.1990.10532181
I think my own lack of confidence at the beginning of our rehearsal transmitted to the students, as they too became unwilling to engage with me in response to my initially distant approach to choreographing. To overcome this insecurity and separation between the students and myself, I put James Eison’s advice into action, that in order “to feel confident in the classroom the neophyte must begin acting confidently.”[4] I shrugged off my diffidence and became a different character to the quiet, background figure of Miss Sheerin the boys previously knew. Instead, I came onstage beaming with confidence, energy, and enthusiasm. I believe when I did that, the students noticed how much more confident I became both physically and mentally, even if it was an ‘act’. It made the atmosphere more exciting and encouraged them to do the same. I understand now that my insecurities and how I act as a result of them, can affect a student’s emotions and responses too. As Jennifer Nias remarks, “Teacher’s emotions, though individually experienced, are a matter of a collective … and their consequences affect everyone involved in the educational process.”[5]
Eison, James “Confidence in the Classroom: Ten Maxims for New Teachers”, College Teaching, 38:1, 21-25, (DOI: (1990) 10.1080/87567555.1990.10532181
Nias, Jennifer (1996) Thinking about Feeling: the emotions in teaching, Cambridge Journal of Education, 26:3, 293-306, DOI: 10.1080/0305764960260301
Conclusion and Action Plan:
In conclusion, what I learned from this experience with my placement at St. Malachy’s College, is that teaching is performative and it is just like acting on a stage. In teaching it is important to have unwavering confidence in your abilities and believe that you can excel in what you ‘do’, regardless of any criticisms from notable figures, like George Bernard Shaw.
Furthermore, I have learned about the importance of self-confidence within educational spaces as a teacher. The students were immediately able to sense my insecurity in my new role as facilitator and exploit this, by speaking over me and not fully participating. I could have made this experience more positive for Ms Hughes and the students alike, had I been more confident in my abilities during the early weeks of the placement. This would have greatly alleviated the pressure on Ms Hughes and she would not have felt as rushed the complete the routine, in the the run-up to opening night. In order to handle this situation better next time, I need to strengthen my skills of confidence and leadership. To do so, I will have the courage to ask my placement teachers for more opportunities to lead the class, whether that be for a workshop or another chance to direct. This will fortify my confidence skills, which is essential when it comes to leading a group.
By using Gibbs’ model of reflection I have been able to evaluate and analyse the highs and lows of a stand-out experience in my placement so far. As Gibbs states, “it is not sufficient simply to have an experience in order to learn. Without reflecting upon experience, it may quickly be forgotten.” I believe this experience will be a crucial moment for reflecting on how far I have come in the development of my confidence skills.
Bibliography:
Eison, James, “Confidence in the Classroom: Ten Maxims for New Teachers”, College Teaching, 38:1, 21-25, (DOI: (1990) 10.1080/87567555.1990.10532181
Nias, Jennifer, (1996) Thinking about Feeling: the emotions in teaching, Cambridge Journal of Education, 26:3, 293-306, DOI: 10.1080/0305764960260301
Shaw, Bernard, Man and Superman: A Comedy and a Philosophy. London: Longmans, Green in association with Constable and Co, 1956. Print.
The University of Edinburgh, ‘Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle’ <https://www.ed.ac.uk/reflection/reflectors-toolkit/reflecting-on-experience/gibbs-reflective-cycle> [accessed November 13].