A reflective blog on my initial experiences at Belfast Royal Academy. What happens when a small-town country girl meets a city grammar school?
When Belfast Royal Academy responded to my email and happily confirmed that they had space for me to do my placement with them, I was ecstatic. My friends who attended BRA told me how amazing the staff and facilities are at the school, making me even more grateful to be completing my placement there. Being a teacher has been my dream ever since I was eleven. When I feel overwhelmed with schoolwork, I simply picture myself at the front of a classroom, teaching my favourite subjects. Venturing into the path of educating can be overwhelming, so I wanted to take this placement opportunity to learn how teachers deal with the everyday world of teaching eleven to eight-teen year olds and not show anything but intelligence and passion for their jobs. I will be using the Gibbs’ Cycle to reflect in this blog.
It’s Day One… Hour One, in BRA.
During my first few visits to the school, I was very nervous. Nervous because it was nothing like my old school, in fact it, BRA holds ten times the number of students my school did. Daunting as the numbers were, I walked in on my first day with confidence, whether it was real or fake, I’m still not sure. With nerves still rushing through my mind, something happened that settled my nerves… As I sat and waited on the vice principle, Ms Graham, an older student sat next to me in the waiting area. I wanted to be polite but was too scared to be forward as I reminded myself that I was no longer in uniform myself and didn’t want to cross a line in my first thirty minutes of being in the school. To my surprise, this A-Level student turned to me and asked, ‘Are you here for a job interview?’, with a smile on her face and a kind tone. I responded, ‘I wish, I’m here on placement with Queen’s, hopefully someday it’ll be an interview.’. She wished me luck and we talked more about her subject choices and university plans. I saw her lack of confidence when she spoke about how hard it was to get accepted into the university she wanted to go, this reminded me of the thoughts I had regarding Queen’s when I was in my final year of school and so I felt as though I had come full circle when I told her she had nothing to worry about as long as she worked hard, kept going and that nothing is the end of the world. When Ms Graham arrived, the student wished me luck again and went on her way. After this conversation I was calmed and reassured. Reassured in the form of a reminder, that all I want to do is help students flourish and succeed and remind them that hard work pays off. This first interaction at BRA was positive in many ways, reassuring, kind and informative about the school environment from the point of view of a student. The only negative that I could draw from this initial conversation is more of a personal negative, it being the realisation that I was and am fast approaching my final days of being any form of student and will soon be the teacher. With all that in mind, I have decided that I am ready to take that step away from being taught and be the one to teach and I am excited to do so. “In order to be or to desire to be a teacher, one must be driven by the dominant passion to teach… to help others learn.” If I ever experience these feelings of doubt and fear again, I will simply remind myself why I am doing this placement, why I want to be a teacher and why this placement is a fantastic opportunity.
She’s Walking in… Cue the Laugh Track!
The school very kindly offered to accommodate my placement in both Drama and English classes. Seeing as I want to be a Drama and English teacher, I was more than happy to spend my time there learning how similar and yet different teaching both subjects can be. The first class I observed was a Drama class. It was a smaller class of lower sixth students. I hoped to observe and be able to later compare the differences in how a class of A-Level students and a younger class react and interact with the teaching of the subject, and even how Miss Tinman (Head of Drama) changed her methods for each. The students themselves were great, pleasant, and didn’t let my presence in the class distract them from their studies. Over-all it was a great first class. I really enjoyed all of the classes that I got to observe for the rest of the day, both Drama and English… Until I was told to go to Mr Spence (Head of English) for the days fifth and final period. I walked into the class ready to listen and take my notes happily in the back of the room, but as I walked in, I was met by a room full of fourth year boys, who seemed to burst into laughter as I walked from the door to my seat. I sat down and smiled and tried my very best to keep it together. Even as a twenty-year-old who should know these children’s opinions on her do not matter, it was very hurtful in the moment and as the whispers and laughing continued I had to stop myself from crying. “It occurs when an uneven balance of power is exploited and abused by an individual or individuals who in that particular circumstance have the advantage.” (Terry, 261). In my case, the class had the power, I was the ‘new girl’, not old enough, not at the front teaching the class, not yet ‘worthy’ of their respect. As upset and insecure as I was, I knew I couldn’t let this knock my confidence. In deciding this, I overheard a student, loudly, ask his friend beside him, “What’s that word for someone you work with?”, his friend responds, “Co-worker?”, “No, no, a different word”, he said. After a beat of silence and ‘hmmm’ from the friend group who were now listening, I put my emotions aside and said, “Do you mean colleague?”. He nodded and said, “that’s it” and turned away again. After this interaction, the boys stopped laughing and whispering at me, I saw it as a trade. I was then ‘useful’ to them and in return they stopped visibly laughing at me. If this happens again, I will remain calm, and remind myself that sometimes respect has to be earned, and younger students will often behave this way. This experience will only make me stronger in future placements and teaching.
That wasn’t in the script, and I wasn’t prepared.
My favourite thing about my placement is the after-school Drama Club. Miss Tinman lets me run the class and plan the activities for the students to do. I have faced a challenge or two during this class, for example, I wasn’t informed that the club was for first years. This obstacle was daunting, as I looked at my activity and knew it was too complex, I quickly adapted my activity and overcame that challenge. Unfortunately, with success must also come failure. At the beginning of my second after school session when all the first years came in a herd, talking laughing and settling in, a student came up to be and I immediately saw that something was wrong. I asked what was wrong, and as he responded I could not hear anything he said. I asked again hoping I could hear him, but I couldn’t. I brought him to Miss Tinman and it turns out he was having an anxiety attack. This shook me as I was disappointed in myself and I felt guilty I couldn’t hear the student, I felt guilty I couldn’t do more. Although my not hearing the student was negative, I’m looking to the situation as a learning opportunity. “Teachers should take note of the signs and symptoms, including which signs they see in the student.” (Moran). Moving forward in my teaching career, I need to learn, research, and adapt to the ever-changing needs of students. If this ever happens again, I am going to remain calm and make sure to help the student in the best ways that I can. To do so, I am going to research and keep myself up to date with all possible mental health issues that are common in secondary school students.
To conclude, my time so far at Belfast Royal Academy has been excellent and rewarding. The staff are kind people who I learn something new from every day by just observing them teach and speaking to them in the staff room. Furthermore, the students’ eager attitudes to learn alongside their class contribution and efforts is a further reflection on the teaching staff and facilities. Observing the classes and running the Drama club has made my desire to teach stronger, if not greater, and I cannot wait to see more as my placement continues.
Bibliography
Moran, Kristen, Anxiety in the classroom: Implications for middle school teachers, Middle School Journal, Association for Middle Level Education. (2015)
Terry, Andrew. A, Teachers as targets of bullying by their pupils: a study to investigate incidence, British Journal of Educational Psychological Society, (1998), pg. 261.
Soltis, Jonas. F, The Passion to Teach, Theory into Practice, Taylor and Francis ltd, (1973), pg. 5.