“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

Confucius

Perhaps I am a fool. Though I am reluctant to admit it, appealing to my idle nature, I believed that by choosing the “Work-Based Learning” module, I would be avoiding countless nights of toil and trouble that would be inflicted upon me had I taken a dissertation module instead. Again, perhaps I am a fool. Little did I know at the time just what would be required of me. But just so, I also failed to comprehend just how excellent of an advantage the experiences forced upon me by the module would bring about when I eventually finish the course. Now, even prior to completing my work placement, I have already begun to grow exponentially as a person (at least I would like to believe), and my burgeoning understanding of the entertainment industry with its overwhelming intricacies, has not bloomed, but is certainly coming into blossom.

Though I talk a big game, the cruel reality is that there is still a great deal more to be done. In order to figure it out for myself, you my poor reader, will be dragged through my thought process, guided by the Gibbs’ Reflective Model, which, much like grief, has multiple stages. Hopefully, however such a feeling is not induced by this blog.

The Tale of a Chronic Slacker

Though now it is with great privilege that I am able to state that I will be participating in a work placement with the UTV beginning in the January of 2024, it was far more in doubt whether or not I would actually find a placement before the Autumn semester of 2023 began. Having been turned down by multiple companies and organizations that I had emailed in the months prior to the semester, the deadline was weighing heavily on my shoulders. Realising I had but a few weeks left before my final year of university would begin, I made the decision to go for the jugular. A final gambit, relying on connections I had made within the two largest broadcasting companies operational within Northern Ireland and fuelled on my lofty ambitions. Somehow, it seemed promising. For the first time I had not been instantly turned down or left unanswered which in itself, was progress, yet it proved far more fruitful than I had originally anticipated. In fact, Both Niall McCracken of the BBC and Trudy Smyth of UTV, my two contacts, instantly started chasing after those who were in charge of organising work placements within the two broadcasting companies. This is not to say however that the entirety of the process was plain sailing, nor did it totally alleviate the curdling anxiety that was brewing in my stomach as time marched steadily towards the doomsday that was the start of the academic year. In fact, much to the contrary.

Having contacted the UTV and the BBC, there was a long period of silence which I had no option other than to endure. Could I have contacted other workplaces in the meantime? No, I don’t believe so; there simply was not enough time left by this stage. But thankfully, Trudy Smyth had returned, informing me that her colleague Munier Abdalla would be in contact with me shortly for an informal interview over the phone. It was just unfortunate however that I ended up being forced to take said interview in a far-off corner inside the H&M near Castle Court shopping centre while on a day out with friends!

The interview, despite the less-than-optimal venue, was a success and following further correspondence as to the department I would be assigned to, as well as the time frame in which the work placement would occur, everything was in order. All that was left, was to wait. (That’s what I wish I could say anyways).

Anxiety and Resolve

Before trauma dumping about the events previously described, I must first frame my base-line state of being… I am mentally ill. While to some extent phrasing it as such appeals to my questionable sense of humour, it is a fact that I struggle immensely with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as both depression and anxiety. This sounds bad, and for the most part, definitely is, but it is information that is fairly integral to my being and can be used to aid in explaining the actions or sometimes inaction that I take. Though it may appear trivial, in my attempts to find a placement before contacting UTV, I resorted to sending emails to potential employers rather than calling them. The dizzyingly mind-bending anxiety that I felt anytime the thought of introducing myself to a stranger over the phone crossed my mind was simply too much to bear. However, as the precious time I had left became scarcer and scarcer, the desperation I felt with regards to the deadline, mixed with perhaps a dose of frustration, drove me to contact the BBC and UTV, despite my own doubts that anything would come of my efforts. Even now though I struggle to some extent with the fact that there’s a high likelihood that the only reason I was offered an opportunity by them was due to the tragedy that befell my grandparents in 2017, and the subsequent trauma it left me with. But this is something that I must come to terms with, as the opportunity was given and only a fool wouldn’t take it.

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get it”

mahatma Ghandi

No matter which way you cut the cake, this is an opportunity that I am immensely lucky to have been offered. Even according to Munier Abdalla, a UTV journalist and the man kindly curating my work placement, told me that work placements within UTV are usually only offered to Masters students. However I realise that in order to make the most of the opportunity offered to me, I must overcome both my anxieties and convince myself that I am in fact deserving of the placement, otherwise I will not be able to contribute to my utmost potential. Perhaps the greatest fear I face in all of this is allowing a potentially life changing opportunity to slip through my fingers. Once again, based on advice given by Mr. Abdalla, this experience is an opportunity to network with industry professionals, an opportunity to leave an impression on the individuals who are at the top of the entertainment and broadcast ladder.

According to Forbes,

“When people start noticing you, it opens the door for newer opportunities… Opportunities like meeting the right clients or even meeting people that are superior to your career path could be a stepping stone that could change your life for the better.”

Forbes

What ever Shall I do?

The theory is there, now how do I apply it? It’s obvious that I need to overcome my anxiety, as well as my reticence to participate in the world as a whole. Despite understanding this however, I still suffer from a significant lack of motivation to achieve such change. Perhaps the only way to remedy such ennui would be through a greater focus on that which I am passionate about, thus my gaze may be able to see past the short term discomfort caused through breaking the confines of my comfort zone. I also realise that because of my anxiety, I have been ignoring the fact that a proactive approach to communication will only make further communication easier, particularly given there are some minor questions I still have with regards to the work placement (as well as some paperwork that hasn’t been returned to me yet).

“Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.”

Sun Tzu

Recognition of one’s own weakness is the first step in the path to progress. The only way in which my future success can be guaranteed, particularly in as front facing an industry as this, is by overcoming my anxiety, and proactively engaging with my employer. As such, it is paramount that I take onus of the situation and open up communication once more with my employer in advance of my placement beginning. In doing this, I should also not be afraid of expanding upon some of the skills I have developed through experiences I have accrued in the interim between communications, such as workshops I have taken part in as a member of Queen’s Radio. Perhaps another answer would also be to expunge my own self-doubts, to attempt to be kinder to myself in recognition of both my past failures and successes, to recognise I have been given this opportunity based on the faith of others have in my present capabilities and future potential.

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”

Epictetus

If I were to wind back the hands of time, I would not retrace the same steps that I have taken to reach where I am now. Instead, I would be more ambitious, more persistent and much less defeatist in my disposition. As the only time that success began to take favour on me, was when I aimed at the biggest, highest value target I could, and took my shot. Proceeding forward, my mission is simple. I shall push past my comfort zone by forcing myself to meet new people. I will begin with contacting the UTV to provide a situation report and to request one from them as well. In the meantime, I will also pursue more opportunities to expand my skillset through projects with Queen’s Radio. If possible, I should prioritize tasks within Queen’s Radio that require public speaking, like on-air casting. This should help force me to evolve into a more confident individual, while also developing my communication skills further. Perhaps I am becoming less of a fool… albeit slowly.

References

1. The University of Edinburgh, Reflection Tool Kit, Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle. https://www.ed.ac.uk/sites/default/files/styles/landscape_breakpoints_theme_uoe_tv_1x/public/thumbnails/image/gibbs_cycle_600x600.png?itok=l6NuR551 https://www.ed.ac.uk/reflection/reflectors-toolkit/reflecting-on-experience/gibbs-reflective-cycle
2. ITV, UTV logo, 2016. COPYRIGHT: ITV plc. https://www.itv.com/news/utv https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/UTV_2016.svg

Bibliography

• Confucius. The Analects of Confucius : a Philosophical Translation. New York :Ballantine Books, 1999.
• Miller, Bianca Cole. 10 Reasons Why Networking Is Essential For Your Career. Forbes. 20 Mar 2019. https://www.forbes.com/sites/biancamillercole/2019/03/20/why-networking-should-be-at-the-core-of-your-career/
• Tzu, Sun. The Art of War. PDF, Capstone Publishing, 2010.
• Epictetus. Higginson, Thomas Wentworth. The Enchiridion. 2nd ed. Liberal Arts Press 1955.