Finding Success In A State Of Panic

When I began searching for my placement, I sought out a number of companies I could gain valuable experience in. Originally, I would not settle for anything other than a placement on a film set, however after reaching out to over 20 companies with no acceptance, I quickly realised that this was unrealistic as getting onto a film set with no previous experience is extremely difficult. After sorting through a long list of companies and crafting what felt like hundreds of cover letters and emails that were being sent into the void, a company named ‘RENDR’ contacted me, offering me a role as a ‘Digital Creator Assistant’. Even though this wasn’t the role I dreamed of, I jumped at the opportunity to learn and grow.

This ambiguous role involved filming and editing content, as well as developing marketing ideas. RENDR is the company behind the ‘RENDR Festival’ which is a digital arts festival focused on immersive gaming and animation. At first I was doubtful that this role, which had little to do with film, would be beneficial for me. However, I realised that it could be an amazing learning experience as Gregory states, ‘Look for an opportunity to do something different and so enhance your skills, even if it’s something that you wouldn’t naturally be drawn to’(2008, pp,63). Subsequently, I took this as an opportunity to broaden my skillset. By implementing the Boud et al. Reflection Model (1985), I will reflect on my initial experiences at RENDR as I feel that this model is clear and aligns with my own reflection process. Boud’s model consists of three main categories, designed to focus on emotions and intuition which allows you to control your emotions, identifying and employing useful feelings and behaviour.

Experience: An Editing Nightmare

My first tasks included interviewing and filming a local musician from East Belfast named Rory Friers. My supervisor Calvin gave be bundles of creative liberty when filming, I was excited to be gaining a hands-on skillset that I wouldn’t have attained if I was working for a larger company.

My next day at RENDR was in the office where my eager self showed up for another exciting day of content creation. I was asked to edit the footage from the Rory Friers video which would be uploaded on multiple social media platforms. Whilst I was getting set up at my desk, I heard the words I was fearing;

“You know how to use Premiere Pro, right?”

‘Oh no’, I thought, and immediately replied “Yes of course”

I was a little familiar with Premiere Pro, but my knowledge was far less than basic. Calvin also told me to make sure the dimensions would fit all platforms using a template from photoshop (which I didn’t know how to do), add in uncopyrighted ‘fitting music’ (I didn’t know where to access this), and to cut the hour of footage down to below two minutes. Feeling like I couldn’t admit my lack of editing knowledge, I sat down to edit the footage feeling terrified, I didn’t want to make any mistakes and mess up the footage. A few minutes went by which consisted of me staring at the computer, sweating and twiddling my thumbs as if I had committed a horrendous crime, spiralling into complete panic.

I was paranoid they would find out I had no clue about any of these things and would banish me from the office, but as McMillan and Weyers note ‘focus on minimising the larger ﬂaws in your work and on completing the task despite any minor faults you believe are present’ (2013, pp.103). Deciding I had to do something, I imported the footage when suddenly the other two people in the office left for a meeting, without letting a second pass I got to searching online, watching a quick tutorial on Premiere Pro basics. By following the tutorial, I put together a very rough edit whilst organising the footage. Calvin came over to my desk to review the work I had done. I was fearful and could tell that my work wasn’t what he was expecting. I told him I had some trouble with the footage but would have it finished soon. He was very polite and thanked me for my work. Soon after, the day was over, I promptly walked out the door and took a deep breath feeling as though I had just made a great escape. I didn’t know why I lied to him about my experience with the software and was beating myself up, I felt embarrassed and ashamed. However, I pushed past my anxieties and studied the software through videos and information online and was able to create an edit I was proud of. RENDR ended up posting the edit and I created many more for the company.

Reflective Process: It’s Never as Bad as it Seems

**My edit for INCISIV uploaded on RENDR’s socials**

Returning to this experience, I can take a dynamic approach to reflecting on the situation and alter any unhelpful emotions to undertake a more optimistic outlook. Firstly, I recognise that I definitely should have asked for help. This is a cliché of sorts, every teacher and lecturer you have are constantly reciting “If you don’t know, just ask” however this is easier said than done. Asking for help is daunting, my brain is always telling me that if I do this, I am flaunting my lack of knowledge and weaknesses. However, I now understand that if I had asked Calvin to take some time to show me the software he would have happily done so as he appreciates that I am still learning. All the anxieties and worries I had would have been alleviated by challenging the view of inexperience as weakness, instead perceiving this as a chance to gain a skillset from professionals in the industry. The catalyst of all that went wrong was my lack of preparation. Before beginning my placement I knew that Premiere Pro was a common software used in the industry however I was cavalier and thought that I could likely use whatever software I preferred, in hindsight I should have asked about their standard editing software and learned the basics.

Thinking about entering my placement, I was very keen to start, and was full of nerves and excitement. These feelings stayed throughout as I was entranced by all the intricate details I discovered about running a business and creating a festival. Once I overcame my editing difficulties, I realised there was much more for me to focus on such as business meetings, festival research, and networking with those around me. By fully immersing myself in all these different aspects and taking each task one at a time I was able to gather much more than just editing experience, but also important lessons in business and promotional content which is a career path I have now opened my mind to due to this experience. I am extremely proud of my determination to achieve success in my placement. All my hard work and late nights spent researching and practising Premiere Pro techniques was actually very fulfilling, it made me happy to know that I was growing as an editor and filmmaker. Despite my panic to piece everything together, which I now understand was a valid feeling that should never get the best of me, I used these feelings as motivation to become a better editor which is a holistic and optimistic approach to reflecting upon this situation inspired by Boud’s Model.

Outcomes: Confidence in Creativity

**My edit for Rory Friers uploaded on RENDR’s socials**

Moving beyond my struggles at RENDR and reflecting upon my behaviour and feelings I have learnt a great deal about myself and some vital lessons that I will bring with me to any positions I take on in the future. There are many things that I now realise I could have done differently during my editing mishap which will prevent something like this from happening again. Being organised and knowing what a job will involve is crucial, I will now take the extra precautions to ensure I am equipped for any role in my future career. Having to adapt and think on my feet was a valuable learning curve and taught me that, by applying myself I can overcome any challenges I may face. I ended up benefiting from the experience, putting myself to the test for the sake of self-progression which I will continue to do.

Believing in myself is the biggest thing I have taken away from my placement. In the end, I figured it out and created an entertaining and professional edit that perfectly captured the message and used advanced editing techniques. If I had the confidence that I could do this before going into the situation, my breakdown of career crumbling thoughts would have never occurred. With this knowledge I can develop my confidence so in future scenarios I can attack the problem head-on and use the problem-solving skills I learned, through breaking down the issue and immediately implementing steps to overcome it. Practical experience is vital in the creative industry.

‘Stern and Nakata (1989) suggest that early work experience develops on-the-job “learning” skills, which help employees approach new problems effectively’
Baum, C. L. & Ruhm, C. J. (2014) The Changing Benefits of Early Work Experience, pp.3

By making the mistake of not learning the software before-hand I underwent an important learning experience and will now ensure that I am much more prepared prior to starting a role.

Looking back at my initial experience at RENDR I am able to appreciate every moment when I struggled and had to adapt, as ultimately, I learned to be more organised and proved to myself that I can rise to the challenge. I grew confident in my abilities as a creative, and my commitment to the craft of producing innovative content blossomed which I hope to have a long and successful career in.

Bibliography

Baum, C. L. & Ruhm, C. J. (2014) The Changing Benefits of Early Work Experience. Cambridge, Mass: National Bureau of Economic Research, pp.3. [Online]. Available at: https://www-nber-org.queens.ezp1.qub.ac.uk/system/files/working_papers/w20413/w20413.pdf (Accessed on: 15^th November 2023)

Gregory, G. et al. (2008) Careers in Media and Film: The Essential Guide, SAGE Publications, Limited, pp.63. [Online]. Available at: https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/qub/detail.action?docID=420885# (Accessed on: 10^th November 2023)

McMillan, K. & Weyers, J. (2013) How to Improve your Critical Thinking & Reflective Skills, Pearson Education UK, pp.103. [Online]. Available at: https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/qub/detail.action?docID=5248200%20%20# (Accessed on: 15^th November 2023)

Boud, D., Keogh, R., & Walker, D. (1985) Promoting Reflection in Learning: A Model. Reflection: Turning Reflection into Learning. London: Routledge.